## THE FORGOTTEN FIELDS (NOVEL) - Chapter 143
His long, elegant fingers deftly extracted the red pulps that glistened like jewels.
As she steadily consumed what he offered her, Talia carefully examined his face, which was reflected by the lamplight. Despite the fact that he cared for her with meticulous devotion, as if she were a small bird, Varkas still wore an expression that resembled a mask, making it difficult to understand what was hidden beneath.
In the past, curiosity would have consumed her to know what lay beyond. But now, that no longer mattered.
Talia placed her hand over her lower abdomen and pressed lightly. She felt her uterus, which was beginning to swell noticeably beneath the thin layer of skin. When she first found out about the pregnancy, she could not calm down for a single moment out of fear that something bad would happen to the baby. She felt even more anxious after discovering that her body had a hard time conceiving.
Every time she felt a slight tension in her lower abdomen, fear invaded her at the suspicion that something was wrong with the child, and she considered any small change in her body as an omen of misfortune. The one who calmed her down, against all odds, was the healer of the Sherkan family.
Perhaps due to her previous experience of having lost a child, Tyuran knew better than anyone what precautions should be taken. At first, Talia was somewhat reluctant, but gradually she began to take her advice seriously. She thought it was unlikely that the healer would make the same mistake again, being in a position where she could lose her life if something bad happened to the baby.
In any case, the knowledge of the Eastern healer proved to be of great use, and thanks to her, Talia managed to regain her composure little by little. Once she felt relieved, she was finally able to focus entirely on the existence of the child.
"I wonder... could it already be the size of a fist?"
Talia chewed the pomegranate seeds he offered her, while gently touching the contour of her lower abdomen, which had become a bit firmer. This child was nothing more than a son conceived out of necessity. She had calculated that if she gave birth to the heir of the Grand Duchy of Sherkan, no one in the East would dare to reject her, and that the child would be her shield even if Varis ascended the throne in the future.
She never imagined that the being she had carried with the sole purpose of protecting herself would awaken so much of her curiosity.
Talia imagined the appearance of the tiny creature growing inside her womb. Would it be small and beautiful like the children of the fairies? Perhaps it already had fine hair or its eyes formed. And if so, what color would they be? Perhaps its hair would be a dark blonde and its eyes a deep blue like hers. Or perhaps it would have light blonde hair and blue eyes speckled with silver flashes like Varkas. In any case, it would undoubtedly be the most beautiful being in the world.
Her curiosity grew day by day. Talia wondered about the baby's appearance, its voice, its personality… everything. She could not think of anything else. Even the presence of Varkas, which always occupied most of her consciousness, faded into the background.
—Listen, what will you do if a girl is born? —Talia asked suddenly while chewing the pomegranate seeds he gave her, immersed in a lazy reverie.
Varkas, who was just finishing feeding her a whole pomegranate and was about to reach for a new one, looked at her quickly. He frowned deeply; it seemed he had never stopped to think about the baby's gender. A sudden wave of uneasiness washed over her. Did Varkas not feel as much curiosity about this child as she did?
Now that she thought about it, he frequently sat her on his lap and caressed her belly, but he never mentioned anything about the baby. Perhaps his interest was directed solely toward the heir who would succeed him.
Varkas murmured in a low voice, as if confirming her fears:
—…I don't even want to think about it.
Talia froze from the shock. Varkas added serenely, while looking at the knife he used to peel the pomegranate:
—If she looks like you, she will attract all kinds of despicable insects. And dealing with her will not be an easy task.
Talia shrugged her shoulders unconsciously. Instead of getting angry at his worried murmur, the first thing she felt was anguish. She had the feeling that a girl who looked like her would truly become the target of all kinds of monsters. A fear she had never experienced before invaded her at that possibility.
Talia sat up quickly and spoke nervously:
—Then you will have to protect her completely. Your duty is to keep her always by your side and not allow anyone to hurt her.
Varkas looked at her, and expression lines formed around his eyes. He seemed surprised that she would ask something so obvious. He nodded his head calmly:
—Of course, that is what I intend to do. It is the duty of the head of the family to safely protect and care for his daughter until he finds her a worthy husband and marries her off.
—Don't talk nonsense. I will never let her get married.
Suddenly, the tone of her voice turned sharp. Talia stared at him, arching her eyebrows, wrapped her arms around her belly as if she feared it would be torn away from her, and exclaimed fiercely—: I will keep her with me my whole life. I won't send her anywhere, ever.
Varkas's eyes widened slightly in surprise. Seeing his reaction, she realized that her voice was cracking with tears. She didn't know why she suddenly felt her eyes grow moist. Talia bit her trembling lips hard and began to vent what was stuck in her throat—: I will never leave my child alone in a strange place. I won't make them tremble with fear among strangers, nor will I let them contain their loneliness by themselves. I will be by their side always, always. I will hold them every night and protect them.
Her words, which sounded like a soliloquy, ended up turning almost into a sob. Before she could feel ashamed of it, a warm knot continued to rise through her chest. Talia pulled Varkas's sleeve in desperation and implored him—: You have to do the same.
She saw his frozen face through the blurred haze of the tears spilling over. Talia shook his arm and demanded a quick response—: Hurry and tell me you will.
The man, who had remained motionless and dumbfounded by her sudden crying spell, threw down what he was holding in his hand and climbed onto the bed. Talia ended up sitting on his lap naturally. His long, strong arms immediately wrapped around her back.
—I will do so —his heavy voice fell over her head.
Talia clung to his clothes almost to the point of tearing them, and stared directly into his pale blue eyes—. Can you swear it?
—I swear it.
—You have promised me. That you will protect our child no matter what happens.
His rough thumb wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes. His voice, which had turned a bit hoarse, rested upon her forehead:
—It's fine. I will do whatever you say, just stop crying.
Talia moved her lips. She wanted to be even more insistent with him.
"You must make our child always the priority. Even before Varis, and before Ayla."
She suppressed the words that reached her throat. She felt she wouldn't be able to bear it if he rejected her request even for a single instant. After holding back her tears, Talia wrapped her arms around his neck and continued her breakdown against his shoulder, which was as firm as a rock.
—Even if it's a boy… I will keep him with me. I won't send him to the imperial palace or to the temple.
She felt his arm, wrapped around her back, tighten its grip around her. Varkas murmured with a heavy voice:
—Alright. Whether it is a girl or a boy, we will keep them with us for a lifetime.
For some reason, those words increased her sadness. Talia rubbed her wet cheek against his neck, where the veins were highly pronounced. Varkas caressed her back gently. It was a touch that seemed to promise her that everything would be alright, and that there would be no more suffering or grief.
Talia wished with all her might to believe in that promise.