C 139
"It was a strange person."
I thought with unease as I wiped off the dark red marks on my clothes.
"Should I have reported it?"
No, what could happen if I reported it? If I leave it alone, it will resolve itself.
"He looked really strange."
The voice was also very friendly. It was quite different from his cold face.
As I sat on the sofa that came with the officetel and turned on the television, the TV crackled for a moment, but soon the screen lit up.
Perhaps thanks to paying the maintenance fee on time, the TV was working fine.
"There's not much to see."
The world seems to be functioning fine without me.
I yawned lightly and scratched my cheek. While playing with the cell phone I bought today, I suddenly thought of the novel and jumped out of my seat.
I turned off the television, went back to my room, got into bed, covered myself with a blanket, and nervously turned on my phone.
I opened the "Kakao Page" that I always used and immediately typed the title I remembered into the search bar.
<Thought I was adopted, but I was wrong!>
My eyes suddenly widened.
"Eh?"
The world that was said to have been created had turned into a novel and was being sold through an app.
"What...?"
I quickly entered the app and tried it out.
In my memory, the novel, which had already been completed, was serialized up to the point I remembered.
However, a parallel story was also being serialized.
I quickly clicked on episode 1 and began reading the novel. And I read the entire novel, which had almost 300 episodes, without sleeping all night.
The contents were like this.
It's true that "Eirin" leaves due to the initial incident without even receiving the "Etham" surname.
All the in-between stories were originally told with the main character, Sharnae.
And the main character of the parallel story was "me."
Everything I had lived through so far was written and recorded.
"Is this the world I created?"
I let out a brief sigh with a disgusted expression on my face.
I couldn't understand why the world I created was being recorded and sold here.
"Oh, I don't know."
Before I knew it, a bird was singing outside. I stifled a laugh and closed my eyes.
That day I had a dream.
It was a dream in which I created the world for the first time.
---
"Mom, I got a 100 on the school exam today!"
"Mom is tired, so come back later."
"Yes..."
"Maybe because she's a girl, she's always noisy. Tsk, stop talking nonsense and go to your room. A girl is good at studying so she can be useful..."
"Dad..."
I felt lonely.
"Why does everyone hate me?"
It was a deception that began with a small question.
"I wish there was a world where everyone would love me."
It was a wish any child could make.
"I'm bored of staying in my room..."
The room was suffocating. When I went out, the harsh glances hit me hard, but when I fantasized, no one scolded me.
"I also want to have a loving father."
I just imagined it.
I wonder what it would be like to have a strong father who wouldn't bow to anyone or be defeated by anyone.
"I wish I were very pretty and had incredible abilities. And I was loved by everyone."
I wanted to be Sharnae.
The main character was very cute and adorable, and she was a kind and gentle person whom everyone forgave no matter what mistakes she made.
I also wanted to have a beautiful mother.
A mother who could do anything for her daughter. Yes, I needed a mother who would love her daughter even if it cost her life.
I think that's how I created my first family.
---
"H-Hi. Grandma! My name is Chamiso..."
"Tsk, this unfortunate thing. Who said to bring this too?!"
"I'll be away for a week, but I can't leave this girl alone, Mom."
"Oh, my son is going through a hard time because he gave birth to something like this. How did it happen...?... tsktsk, but I'm glad you're fine and have two children. I wondered if I should wait until the fourth generation for..."
Only later did I realize why it was said that giving birth to a boy was for the sake of my father, and why that was a senseless story.
Seen in that light, my mother didn't marry in a good environment.
"She can't stop making noise in the house!"
"...Honey, really... Ugh."
"I'm annoyed."
"Grandfather..."
"Stop embarrassing the family so that rumors don't spread."
It occurred to me that the cold and icy gaze wasn't just from my grandmother.
This was the case with my grandfather, who wouldn't even look at me and turned away as if I were invisible.
It was a very familiar experience to curl up under a thick blanket and bury my face in the pillow.
"It's okay..."
It's okay. I'm fine.
"Sharnae wouldn't cry even in this situation."
Instead, she would approach with a smile.
Then, even the toughest grandparents would melt in an instant.
The icy grandmother and grandfather were not really bad people.
"There's no one who doesn't like Sharnae."
That's right, that's all.
In reality, my grandmother is just a cold person and loves me but can't express it.
The grandfather too... it's something like that.
"That's right, he doesn't really hate me."
Sharnae will always be a beloved child.
That day, I think I was buried under a blanket and imagining again.
In this way, Sharnae's family members were dishonest grandparents.
---
"Oh, I'm really embarrassed... I told you not to go around calling me brother!"
"I didn't."
"But how is it that all the other kids know! It's really embarrassing, aren't you ashamed to act like this?"
"The reason I act like this is because of you...!"
"Because of us? Since you're so lazy, Mom and Dad get mad every time they see you."
"Yes, it's all your fault. You're stupid. You don't know how to do anything."
The body, pushed by boys in their prime, stumbled and fell into the muddy water.
"Ah!"
It was something common.
After my two younger brothers instinctively realized that I was beneath them, they never stopped harassing me.
"Will anything change if I do this?"
If I'm not happy, will that make them happy? I wanted to ask that.
But then what? No one answers. It's just for fun.
I'm fine.
"Sharnae..., she doesn't cry over things like this."
Let's not give Sharnae such a bad little brother. I'll give her mature older brothers.
Older brothers who can smile gently and hug Sharnae no matter what mistakes she makes, and who can happily overlook any mistakes she makes.
When bad friends intimidate her, these brothers draw their swords and use magic to defeat the villains.
Alright, let's make some brothers.
Let them be extremely skilled with swords and magic.
I stopped going to school and sat on the patio floor, took out my sketchbook, and made notes, but suddenly I felt weak.
"What will I do next?"
I can't be Sharnae.
Sharnae is an imaginary character I created. I can't be Sharnae. Because Sharnae is not me.
Sharnae is not as miserable as I am, she doesn't get bullied all the time, and she doesn't get so depressed.
"I..."
I can't be happy anyway.
No matter how much I imagine, no matter how many happy dreams I have.
My world doesn't change.
"I want to be happy too."
I want to have a happy family too, I want to be Sharnae too.
I...
Now, no more...
"No, no, no."
A dark shadow appeared over my head, and I heard a familiar but very unfamiliar voice.
"I thought I was still at my limit, but maybe the concentration of unhappiness was too thick."
A small sigh was heard.
When I looked up, I saw a man wearing a deep hat.
"Who...?"
"I'm just trying to push you to the limit, without expecting you to break. Can you hold on a bit longer?"
The man reached out and held my cheeks with both hands.
"I suppose I should erase some of your memories. You weren't so unhappy. Cheer up, the world will move happily with just one sacrifice from you."
The man smiled sweetly.
"It's okay, if you're reborn, these misfortunes will become nothing more than a piece of the past."
It seemed like he was smiling coldly, but his voice sounded infinitely kind.
"Create a wonderful world."
A friendly voice said.
When I woke up from a long dream and opened my eyes again, I was in front of young Cha Miso, shedding silent tears.
"Why are you crying? Eirin."
Young Cha Miso asked with a faint smile.
"If it's not me..., sob, because there's no one to cry for."
No one cried for us, so I have no choice but to cry.
That's why I'm crying.
That's all.
