CHAPTER 156
Then, the sound of crying that had calmed down for an instant was heard once again.
Talia distorted her face with a terrible grimace. That clamorous voice was becoming increasingly unbearable; she felt as though her insides were tearing apart from being unable to do anything to stop it. She pressed her belly, which pained her as if a knife were plunged into it, and felt the skin of her flat abdomen.
At that moment, a delirious idea suddenly gained strength in some corner of her disturbed mind.
"... I can start over."
She vaguely felt her thoughts drifting in an unnatural direction, but her willpower had already vanished by half. With unfocused eyes, she stared at the face of the man enveloped in the dim twilight and then slowly extended her hand.
She pulled up his torn shirt, revealing his waist, tense as a rope, and his firm abdomen. She slid her fingers over it slowly. She felt for the leather belt to unfasten it with hesitation, but the knot tightened even more due to the clumsiness of her hands. Feeling increasingly anxious, she tugged at the belt with a hint of nervousness.
In that instant, a large hand, swollen with veins, seized her wrist as if catching it mid-air.
Talia raised her head. Two blue eyes with an unfocused gaze contemplated her intently.
"What… are you doing now?" His voice was heavy, deep, and tinged with a slight confusion.
Talia responded calmly, without showing the slightest sign of panic:
"I… am going to get pregnant with another baby."
The drowsiness vanished from his eyes.
Talia averted her gaze from his face, which seemed unable to believe what it was hearing, and once again reached her hand toward his trousers. Then she murmured like a person possessed:
"Give it to me again. This time I will give birth to it in good health."
'Then my baby will stop crying bitterly.'
She desperately thrust her fingers between the clothes, which had become looser. At that moment, Varkas, who had been as motionless as a rock, sat up abruptly and firmly gripped her wrists, like a trap.
Something snapped in her head at the contact with which he attempted to push her away. Talia let out a scream with a voice that seemed to burst from her boiling insides:
"Why… why do you refuse?"
The man's eyes gradually contracted. His pupils, highly dilated, seemed to shrink slightly. Everything around him was blurry, so why did this man look so sharp?
She felt disgusted with herself and twisted her wrists violently.
"You said you would do anything I wanted! You said you would give me everything I desired! Give me back my child! My child, whom you didn't even let me hold… Give him back to me!"
In that instant, she saw something crumble in his eyes. The man murmured incomprehensible words and pulled the bedsheet to wrap her in it. Talia writhed more violently, like a fish caught in a net.
"Liar! You are an unscrupulous liar! You said you would protect my child and you didn't even look at him! You left your promise discarded like an old rag!"
Answering like a shriek, her voice kept sounding dreadful even to her own ears. It was as if she were possessed by an evil spirit. Driven by the fury that dominated her, she began to strike and scratch him violently.
The man did not move while he held her tight against himself. He only breathed heavily while restraining the enraged body in his arms, as if he were willing to receive all the filth she threw at him. Because of that, she became more and more of a vile and miserable being.
'Blame me instead. Just as I do.'
I was the one who chose to get pregnant with this body, and I was the one who could not protect that child. I know it very well. Therefore, say it. Say that everything is my fault, and that it is the consequence of my own actions. Say that I killed our child.
Fall with me into this abyss and wallow in the mud. Destroy yourself completely.
She looked at him full of desire and curses. Her vision, blurred by tears, reflected his face, terribly distorted. However, he was an existence that could never fall to the bottom of the abyss in which she found herself. It was always she, the only one who ended up looking despicable and wretched.
The man who made her feel insignificant and infinitely insignificant…
In the end, she lost all desire to fight and loosened her limbs. A dry wind blew into her heart, of which nothing but ashes remained, and she finally expelled through her mouth that dust that burned in her insides.
"... I will never believe you ever again."
She felt his body, completely pressed against hers, tense up. However, in the end, he did not utter a single word. He only leaned his tired body against the headboard of the bed while tightening the arm with which he encircled her.
A desolate silence fell over their heads. She realized that the baby's crying had ceased, but Talia felt no relief.
It was not long before rumors that the duchess was suffering from madness began to spread throughout Laidgo Castle. Although the head of service, who possessed an iron determination, shut the maids' mouths with a severe look, the whispers did not diminish.
This was because the woman who previously only slept like an unconscious person since she regained consciousness, began one day to unleash all kinds of fury against the duke. It was not once or twice that her harsh words of resentment and curses echoed through the door and reached the hallway.
Occasionally, sounds of objects breaking and fabrics tearing were heard. And when the ladies-in-waiting were called to enter the room after an altercation, they saw the duchess passed out and the place plunged into chaos.
The duke seemed to be the only one who remained intact in all of that. With a face as cold as snow, as if nothing had happened, the man ordered in a frigid voice to call a priest. And the ladies-in-waiting, paralyzed with fear, obeyed immediately.
Events like this were repeated several times. Given that the duke did not react, the woman's madness increased day after day. Even the voices of sympathy toward the duchess began to diminish a little.
There were many who criticized the situation, pointing out that, while it was lamentable to lose the firstborn in such a painful manner, wasn't it exaggerated to vent all that resentment upon the innocent duke?
However, those who murmured behind her back were forced to fall silent as soon as they came across her shattered countenance. The woman whose cheeks flushed last autumn and throughout the winter, and who strolled through the garden with a dreamy expression, had lost all vitality and had transformed into a ghost.
Those who saw her wandering through the castle after slipping away from the room despite the duke's strict vigilance, had no choice but to understand the feelings of the duke, who endured all that frenzy in silence. The woman who filled her suspiciously beautiful face with a vacant expression and took dangerous steps like someone searching for something, looked as if she were going to vanish like smoke at any moment. There was no one who was not moved by her sad appearance.
Nevertheless, regardless of the sympathy that the servants of the main castle felt for the duchess, it seemed that the discontent of the palace entourage increased day after day.
—Is the duchess still plunged into madness?
The maid Brisa was walking down the hallway carrying the laundry basket when she saw Daryn Dru Shierkan coming up the stairs, so she lowered her head hurriedly. The man who led his knights approached her and asked her insistently:
—I asked about the state of Her Highness the duchess.
—Her Highness… is currently resting after taking her medicine.
Even though she knew he was asking about her mental state, Brisa deliberately overlooked it.
The man threw a cold gaze at her for an instant, then let out a heavy sigh and extended a roll of parchment sealed with red wax to her.
—Deliver this to the duke.
Brisa left the basket on the floor quickly and took it. As if he had finished his task, the man went up the stairs immediately.
Brisa looked sideways at his back and then headed toward the duke's bedroom to fulfill the order she had suddenly been assigned.
—Sir, may I enter? —She knocked on the door cautiously and received permission to enter.
Brisa entered the dark room in silence, taking care not to make a sound. The duke was dressing; it seemed he had changed his clothes after enduring his wife's frenzy. The man who was folding the sleeve of his black velvet jacket threw an indifferent glance at her over his shoulder.
—What is the matter?
—I was passing through the hallway… and I received the order to deliver this to you… —Brisa bent her waist respectfully and extended the roll of parchment she held in her hand.
The man took it, broke the seal, and unfolded it lengthwise. Brisa knew that the written document had deeply bothered the duke. The man frowned severely and moved his eyes quickly, then crumpled the parchment and threw it into the fireplace.
Straight away, an implacable voice resonated:
—I will be going out for a while. Do not take your eyes off her.
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