## THE FORGOTTEN FIELDS (NOVEL) - Chapter 117
Talia looked at the nightgown in her hands with cold eyes.
—Since when do you do this?
The nanny's face contorted with displeasure upon hearing those critical words that Talia uttered with evident disdain.
Talia did not care; she stepped down from the window sill and headed toward the bed. However, the nanny did not back down.
—The reality is that Your Lordships have not consummated the wedding night as is proper. Do you know what that means? It means that His Excellency the Duke, if he so wished, could request the annulment of the marriage at any time!
Talia stared at the nanny, who stood before her sternly, and then lifted the hem of her wide dress. She quickly pulled the sweat-dampened garment over her head, revealing a disfigured leg and a woefully gaunt, naked body.
The nanny lowered her eyes immediately. Seeing her reaction, Talia let out a dry laugh.
—You cannot even look at me directly, and yet, you ask me to throw this deformed body into a man's arms?
—... At least, we should try —the nanny murmured, keeping her gaze fixed on the floor—. Even His Excellency the Duke does not seem completely devoid of feelings toward you, my lady. Did he not show himself to be highly concerned when you fainted? Even in the midst of his incessant work with the funeral of the previous duke and the succession of the title, he always made sure to check your meals and your medicines. I am sure he will not refuse if you ask him.
Talia made a sound that seemed like a snort of air and, suddenly, wiped the smile from her face.
—So, what you are suggesting is that I must beg him to possess me.
—Do not mock the situation. This is also for your own good. If you give birth to a child, that will consolidate your position as Grand Duchess...
Talia's patience was completely exhausted by those words of such obvious intentions.
With a violent sweep of her hands, she cleared the table, causing the plates, trays, and porcelain pieces to crash against the floor with a sharp clatter. The shards of glass that flew out pricked the instep of her feet, but she did not care; instead, she tore down the candelabra next to the fireplace and threw it against the wall.
—Get out!
The nanny gasped, stifling a scream, and ran terrified toward the door.
Talia took the nightgown the nanny had brought and tore it forcefully in half with a sharp rip. She threw it carelessly to the floor, then walked to the bed and covered herself completely with the blanket.
How long did she remain in that state? Suddenly, she heard light knocks on the door, followed by a soft voice resonating from the outside.
—Your Highness, I have learned that you have injured your feet. I have come to check the wound.
Talia did not respond. Taking the silence as approval, the visitor opened the door, and light footsteps were heard approaching.
—I will examine the wound for a moment.
The woman lifted the blanket, revealing a foot and a leg covered in blood. The physician recited a healing spell, then pulled out a clean bandage and carefully wrapped Talia's leg.
—How does the pain feel now?
—...
—If you need a painkiller...
—Did my mother ask you for something in private?
The woman interrupted her words at that sudden question. Talia observed the woman's rigid face and scrutinized her intently. After a long hesitation, the woman replied with a sigh:
—... She asked me to take meticulous care of Your Highness's health.
—So that I can conceive a child with ease?
The woman's lips tightened upon hearing the sarcasm in Talia's voice. Talia looked at her with a smirk of disdain and then turned to the other side of the bed.
—Get out of here now.
—Your Highness.
Talia felt the woman's movement as she knelt beside the bed. She turned, surprised, perceiving a strange warmth enveloping the back of her hand. The physician was looking at her with serious brown eyes.
—You, Your Highness, have no obligation to do anything you do not wish to.
Talia blinked in incredulity. She should have mocked that impertinent intrusion. What did a simple physician know? She should have shouted at her to stop talking nonsense and stick to doing her job; however, she found herself strangely unable to articulate a word.
—I...
Her tongue moved unconsciously inside her half-open mouth.
"I do not want this." "I do not want to show Varkas this miserable body. I am sick of playing the role of a piece on my mother's chessboard. I do not want to suffer for people who will never love me."
She desperately swallowed the words that were already rising up her throat. Showing weakness meant allowing them to trample her. She no longer wished for anyone to hurt her again.
Talia abruptly withdrew her hand from the physician's grip.
—Stop talking nonsense and call the maids.
The woman looked at her with eyes deep in reflection, and then slowly stood up. Talia asked her in a casual tone:
—By the way, what is your name?
The woman's eyes widened, and then she replied calmly:
—My name is Marisen.
Talia repeated the name silently inside her mind and then made a slight wave of her hand to order her to leave.
Shortly after, the maids came in flocks to clean the messy room and helped her get dressed following her instructions.
Talia chose the most sumptuous dress from the bridal trousseau sent from the imperial palace, carefully braided her hair, and adorned it with pearl hairpins. She applied a thick layer of red carmine over her chapped lips and then pulled out her jewelry box.
Inside the velvet case rested a small button engraved with the emblem of the knights of Ruim, a moonstone with silver-blue flashes, a carefully folded handkerchief, and a brooch adorned with rubies. Talia contemplated for a long time those vestiges of an attachment she had been unable to abandon despite a thousand promises; then, she took the brooch and pinned it to the left side of her chest.
Standing in front of the mirror, she saw reflected the image of a pale woman desperately trying to hide her emaciation. She asked that woman:
"What are you trying to do?" "I haven't decided yet."
She looked at her pupils, which were trembling slightly, and then ordered the maids to withdraw before leaving the room. Through the hallway window, she observed how the sky was beginning to darken gradually.
Varkas had not yet returned.
Since the death of the previous duke, he spent most of his time away from the castle. He attended almost all the religious ceremonies organized by the Order of the East and worked tirelessly to calm the agitated spirits of the population and reorganize the army.
"And in the midst of all that, he assumed the responsibility of taking care of Garcil; so even if he had ten bodies, they would not be enough."
Talia let out a bitter and ironic laugh, then crossed the cold and silent hallway and went down the wide stairs. When she reached the Duke's quarters, which now belonged to Varkas, the servants guarding the entrance directed surprised glances at her.
Instead of ordering them to open the door, she took the handle herself and pulled it. With a creak, the spacious room appeared brightly illuminated.
Talia discerned a tall silhouette in the middle of the room, and her spine stiffened. He had returned not long ago; Varkas, wearing his official military uniform, was unbuttoning the buttons of his coat.
—... What is the matter?
The man looked at her over his shoulder, examining her meticulously, and asked while frowning. That reaction undid all the efforts she had dedicated to getting dressed up for hours.
Talia exhaled a sigh of resignation, then slowly entered the room and closed the door behind her.
—I have come because there is something I wish to discuss with you.
Varkas looked at her with an expressionless face and then pointed with his chin toward a chair in front of the fireplace.
—Sit.
Moving her stiff legs, she sat in the chair. Meanwhile, Varkas took off his coat and hung it on the wall, then offered her a glass of apple cider.
—I have learned that your appetite has decreased again. Even if I cannot take care of you personally, you must eat well and not skip meals.
Talia pressed her lips firmly and contemplated the glass in silence. Varkas observed her with crossed arms and then broke the prolonged muteness.
—What is it that you want to say?
—You...
Talia looked at him with eyes full of confusion. In that instant, she did not know what she should say or why she had come to him in the first place. Was it submission? Or resistance? She knew clearly that she was at a crossroads and that she would leave that choice in the hands of his words.
Talia gathered her strength and contained her trembling voice.
—Is it true that you oppose Ayla's marriage?
She looked at him directly, as if she were challenging him, and the corner of Varkas's lips twitched slightly.
—Was that the reason why you avoided looking at me during the last few days?
He passed a hand through his messy hair over his forehead and let out a dry laugh.
—I opposed it solely due to political risks.
—But rumors are circulating in the palace that you are still attached to Ayla.
As the conversation progressed, she felt like a jealous girl looking to cause trouble. She shook her head to shake off that feeling and then continued with an interrogating tone:
—Did you not say that you would silence the rumors about our marriage? Is this how you silence them, by allowing such absurd slanders to spread?
—It was a matter that concerned your safety —he spoke, with evident weariness—. I had to prevent the Crown Prince from acting recklessly before the situation worsened. I have the duty to protect those two people.
His tone gradually became firmer. Talia contemplated him with a rigid face. Varkas exhaled a long sigh, then leaned slightly toward her and added with a softer voice:
—Soon I will suggest a better marriage for the First Princess. When that happens, the rumors will vanish on their own.
Talia looked at him in silence and then suddenly let out a hollow laugh. Did this man understand what he was saying?
She felt despair wash over her upon seeing Varkas speak about protecting Ayla while driving a dagger into her heart. It was a heartbreaking irony.
Her mother was right. This man was blind when it came to emotions. For him, matters of the heart were not a priority. The only thing that mattered to Varkas was fulfilling his duty. And, most likely, at the top of his long list of responsibilities was the protection of the twins.
Perhaps she, by occupying the position of Grand Duchess, had also acquired a relevant status; however, she would never be his top priority. His duty as a vassal of the imperial throne and his duty as the head of the family... nothing could come before those two obligations.
—You... truly are an extremely faithful person.
The corner of his eyes twitched slightly. He had understood that it was not a compliment.
Talia wiped the smile from her face. Her mind began to quiet down with coldness and she saw with complete clarity what she must do. When Emperor Garcil claimed her life, even if it led to a war with the East, it was obvious which path Varkas would choose. The dilemma was: could she accept that situation with resignation?
She imagined her own death in her mind. Suddenly, she remembered the face of the previous duke disfigured by terror. That man feared death and what would come after.
"And me?" The answer came immediately. "I am afraid of death."
She felt a deep panic and for that reason she struggled in that manner. She knew perfectly well that the only person capable of saving her was herself. That also applied to the current situation. She had to survive by her own means.
"This is not a submission before my mother. I am fighting solely because I wish to live."
Talia spun a myriad of justifications in her mind and then, finally, raised her head to look him directly in the eyes.
—You have fulfilled your duty, have you not?
Two cold eyes contemplated her without the slightest hint of hesitation. As if engraving every word into those gelid pupils, she sentenced:
—I demand that you also fulfill your duty as a husband.
Finally, a crack opened in that face usually devoid of emotions. Talia attacked immediately, taking advantage of that opening, and declared with absolute firmness:
—Tonight, I will enter your bed.
