C 136
"...Yes."
"And the memories you lost will slowly return through your dreams."
"Yes."
"Finally, it's your responsibility not to break this relationship properly. Make sure to sever it."
In the dark space where my father, Lucilion, little Cha Miso, and I were gathered, Arma, with glasses, gave an explanation while tapping the blackboard with a pointer.
"As I said, thanks to being half-imprinted with Erno Etham, you are halfway between this world and the other. So, if you die after reaching the end of your life in the other world, we will catch you."
Before we knew it, Arma had turned into a strong fisherman and was pulling the fishing rod with all her might.
When you become a god, it seems you can really do all sorts of things. I nodded, feeling like I was watching a fairy tale.
"If you die while attached to that world, we won't be able to get you out."
"Yes."
"The Guardian of the Stars will do whatever is necessary to obstruct you and retrieve your soul."
"Yes..."
"Alright, here we go. Any questions?!"
I quickly raised my hand.
"Alright, tell me. Baby student."
Why am I a damn baby?
Although I was dissatisfied, I didn't have the courage to confront God anyway, so I opened my mouth in silence.
"What happens if I kill someone or commit suicide?"
"Even if you commit suicide, you'll live. People have to live according to their original destiny."
"So, I..."
"But you must belong to the side where the Underworld records are rewritten. You were supposed to die then."
It was then that you had courage.
My heart sank when I heard Arma's additional words.
"Why again..."
"The Guardian of the Stars must have interfered. He must have paid a hefty sum to get his hands on the Underworld record..."
Arma rubbed her chin.
Still, I nodded slightly when the voice added that having good luck twice would be difficult because the Underworld is not easy.
"And killing people... your sins will deepen. No."
Arma shook her head.
Arma added that as the karma of sin deepens, the Underworld may get involved.
"The rules of the Underworld are more important than any other rules. It doesn't matter if you kill without using your hands. It's okay to go into a vegetative state without killing anyone."
Does this mean contract killings are possible?
I crossed my arms in contemplation for a moment. My father gently tapped my forehead so it wouldn't hurt.
"Don't think of anything strange. You don't have to think anything. I will do the killing."
No, I'm afraid because I think he'll really do it if my father says he will.
I shook my head. Thanks to my father, my bad thoughts disappeared in an instant.
Dad closed his mouth with a very sad expression on his face.
"Don't you know when and how I'll die?"
"I know you'll die at 30, but other than that, I don't know. It's not my job to check the Underworld record."
Doesn't that mean I could die in a more horrible way than I imagine?
"They say the pain of death is temporary, but..."
What does it feel like to live just to die?
"Well then, since I don't think there are any more questions, shall we begin?"
Arma created a passage.
"You just have to enter here. We'll take care of the rest outside."
I nodded at Arma's words and stood in front of the corridor. Dad hugged me tightly.
"I'll wait for you. No matter how long it takes. You can take your time, so don't hurt yourself, don't get sick, and come back safe and sound."
"Yes, I'll come back."
Then I didn't want to lose anyone anymore.
"The memories..."
Little Cha Miso came to my side.
"It's just a memory that has already passed. Keep that in mind. We were young and very lonely. That's all."
"...Yes, I understand."
I didn't understand what she was saying. It's probably something from the past that I don't remember.
Young Cha Miso smiled slightly at my words.
"This is the first time I've created such a perfect world. This world..."
Cha Miso reached out her hand to me.
"It was our last wish because we were young and defenseless. So don't let yourself be possessed."
Everything you want is here.
Little Cha Miso squeezed my hand once and then took a step back.
Lucilion came up to my side and smiled.
"I'm sorry."
He leaned in slightly and kissed me on the cheek. A faint halo of light filtered into my forehead.
"...What...?"
"It contains blessings."
Kwaang-!
Dad, with wide-open eyes, came very close behind Lucilion. Lucilion pushed me slightly into the hallway.
Lucilion pursed his lips.
When I entered, the hallway began to close slowly. Dad opened his eyes wide and reached out his hand.
"Dad! I love you!!"
I spoke the words I hadn't been able to say for a long time with all my might.
"...!"
At the moment when dad's embarrassed lips quickly opened, the hallway door closed tightly.
"I didn't hear what dad said, but..."
Still, it's fine.
Somehow, I can guess what he said.
"It's okay, you can do it."
I clenched my fists.
It was completely dark everywhere. The halo of light in front was the only point of reference in this dark space.
"By the way..."
Finally, what Lucilion said was significant.
"What do you mean we'll see each other soon?"
Didn't they say we would meet again in 7 years?
Lucilion always says strange things. I also have a pretty high mental age, but he had a more mature side than me.
"A young man with an old soul... Should I say that?"
I feel like I'm underestimating everything in the world.
I walked down the street in long strides.
Since it was dark everywhere, I deliberately walked fast because I felt like I would be more intimidated if I walked slowly.
"How long do I have to go?"
My legs hurt.
I'm not sure if the place that seems to be the exit is getting closer. It was time to start walking again, tapping my legs.
"Oh? Am I a bit closer?"
The halo of light came a little closer.
After walking for a while, I soon reached the door.
While standing in front of the door, a halo of light came and enveloped me in an instant.
It was so dazzling that I had to close my eyes tightly.
"Oh...?!"
I felt like my body was being sucked somewhere.
After a moment when the light was as bright as the sun and hard to see, a gentle darkness soon descended.
"Ah..."
The intense light didn't leave my mind, so I could barely open my eyes after a long time, long after the light disappeared.
"..."
As I faced the familiar ceiling, a brief sigh escaped me.
"It's not a hospital."
However, it wasn't even the room I was staying in. It was my room in the house where I lived with my entire family.
"I am Eirin. I am here to stay like Chamiso and live until the end of my life. My father is Erno Etham, and I am the matriarch of the Etham family."
It was only after searching my memory and thinking of all the names of people I could remember that I breathed a sigh of relief.
Fortunately, there was no apparent memory loss.
Why doesn't this happen often in novels? When you go to another world, memories of the previous world gradually fade away.
What strange phenomena.
"Have I read too many novels?"
I got up and scratched my neck. The old bed and old desk weren't much different from those in my childhood.
"No, let's write it down just in case."
I took out a blank notebook from the only shelf and slowly wrote down my memories.
It was a cheap secret diary. The diary with the attached key was something I had saved up and bought a long time ago.
"I think I said I should make sure to record happy things..."
When I opened it now, several pages were missing. At best, it was written that my mom bought me a donut today.
"I know they gave it to me because it was a waste to have leftover food."
There was a time when that was the happiest.
I wrote down everything I remembered in the imperial language and, just in case, wrote it down as if it were translated into Korean on the last page.
Then, I tightly locked it with a key and put it in the innermost drawer.
"First, I have to get back to my officelet."
After that, I took out all my savings and received severance pay when I left the company...
"What month is it today...? Ahem."
The voice was very low. I felt a little embarrassed and touched my neck several times.
I'm not very used to high visibility.
"Do I have a phone?"
There was nothing in the room indicating the time or date. There is a calendar, but it's a very old calendar.
I looked at the clothes hanging in the room, and luckily, my wallet was there. I still have money, cards, and my ID.
But shouldn't I be living in the rented room?
I guess I missed it because I probably didn't pay much rent.
When I left the room, scratching my neck, the sound of the TV came on. As if sensing my presence, the eyes of the four people sitting in the living room turned to me.
"...Miso?"
The first to react was my mother.
"Miso...! You finally woke up."
My mother, who always gave me a cold and rigid expression, ran towards me and hugged me with a distorted expression on her face, as if she was about to burst into tears.
My father also took long strides and stood in front of me with an expression on his face as if he missed someone very much.
[In the world you return to, everything you wish for will be right in front of you, different from what you remember.]
[Remember, that's not the world you think it is! You'll understand this when you go.]
Suddenly, Arma's words came to mind, and I immediately understood their meaning.
The cruel world was once again trying to use my wounds to do something to me.
"I had no doubt you would wake up. Because my daughter can't be that weak..."
"..."
"For all that time, I'm sorry. I'm so... I was caught up in small, narrow thoughts... I guess it wasn't your fault... I'm sorry."
"..."
"Try to say something..."
I kept my mouth closed even as I looked at my mother clinging to me.
It was only after a long time that I opened my mouth after hearing her.
"Your daughter has been dead for a long time."
That day, in that car accident, I died. All that was left here was a shell.
