C1063
"Hmm..."
For the first time since my birth, I held another human body in my arms. It was light, as if it could float, and so soft it seemed it could crumble, I found it difficult to move my arms.
"Your expression is clumsy. At this rate... ugh!"
Mother frowned and placed her hand on her temple.
"Anyway, it's useless. The only thing you can do is observe!"
A conversation of souls. Unlike me, Mother couldn't fully devour souls, so she sometimes ended up competing with the original owner of the body like this. Of course, that resistance would soon disappear.
"You can do it, right?"
After imprisoning the body's owner in the depths of her soul, Mother gripped my shoulders.
"Of course."
I ignored the nauseating stench burning deep in my chest. I nodded quickly, burning with the desire to see Mother's smiling face again.
***
I headed to Zieghart with Martha. The memory fragment seemed to have worked, as she considered me her benefactor.
"Um, is this really the right place...?"
Martha's hands trembled, seemingly intimidated by the imposing gates that seemed to touch the sky. I felt the same, but with Denier's memories and emotions wrapped around my mind, I nodded calmly.
"It'll be fine."
Holding Martha's small hand tightly, I crossed the imposing main gate of Zieghart and entered the audience chamber where Glenn awaited. Glenn Zieghart, the Northern Destroyer King. The man considered the strongest among the Six Kings and the Five Demons truly possessed an aura and presence that sent chills down the spine.
A shiver ran down my spine as if his sword could fall on my head at any moment.
"Who is this girl?"
Glenn asked about Martha first.
"She's a girl who lost her village and parents to the White Blood Religion. I rescued her when she was in danger while tracking them alone, and I brought her here."
I explained that I brought her because I feared she would end up dying at the hands of the White Blood Religion if I left her alone.
"She has good talent for swordsmanship and a pure nature, so I would like to take her in."
As Mother had instructed, I bowed my head as I expressed my desire to adopt Martha as my daughter.
"M-my name is Martha."
Sensing that the conversation was about her, Martha knelt beside me.
"..."
Glenn silently looked at Martha and me with an intense gaze.
"Denier."
"Yes."
I raised my head, feeling a heart that wasn't mine beating as if it would burst.
"This is a great responsibility. If you're going to do it, take it on until the end."
Glenn nodded as if to give permission. I had prepared several responses that fit Denier's personality in case of rejection, but Glenn gave his permission without much comment. Not out of indifference, but because he seemed to trust me... no, trust Denier.
"I understand. I will take on the responsibility until the end."
Responsibility. I nodded, not knowing how heavy that word would be.
***
The Wise Martial Palace, appropriate for a faction led by Denier, was a place where kind-hearted people gathered. However...
"Get out!"
Martha couldn't warm up to the people of the Wise Martial Palace. She cursed at the maids, rejected the butlers, and always had a frown on her face. Not because she was evil. In her eyes, everyone in the world seemed like members of the White Blood Religion hiding their true identities.
"It's alright. It's alright."
I hugged Martha tightly as she cried and lashed out at the people, telling her that it was okay. Perhaps Mother's memory manipulation had worked, as Martha only followed me. Though she sometimes acted shy or clumsy, she never avoided my touch.
Human warmth was warmer than the heat of a fireplace. Through Martha, I came to understand humans a little better.
It was a happy time, as I found my own joy while helping Mother. However, the spiritual pain of deceiving Martha and everyone in Zieghart also came with it. This must be what humans call conscience.
Living as Martha's father and master of the Wise Martial Palace, I would visit Mother whenever I went out on missions.
I shared information about Zieghart and gained strength and experience as the 13th Apostle by drinking Mother's blood and the blood of the martial artists.
"How wonderful!"
Mother praised me as always. That smile softened the blade of conscience a little.
"Father!"
Martha would come out to the main gate to greet me every time I returned from missions. Though I felt proud as if she were truly my daughter, the blade of conscience that had been softened thanks to Mother now pierced my soul with even more sharpness. As these wounds in my soul grew, I heard that Martha had been defeated by Raon.
When I went to comfort Martha, contrary to my expectations, she didn't get angry but cut her hair with an expression of relief. She changed after that day. She began to trust Raon, found a master she could follow with her heart, and gained friends who shared a bond of camaraderie.
My insides churned, and I couldn't sleep. My daughter. The precious daughter I had raised without letting a single drop of water touch her now trusted people other than me, and it irritated me. Jealousy. I felt jealousy for the first time. Though I was angry, it brought me a little closer to being human.
As I considered myself Martha's true father, the jealousy didn't last long, and I only wished for her to live happily.
I buried deep in my memories the fact that Martha could one day become Mother's new body. Every time Martha smiled at me, I felt happiness as if I had truly given birth to her. Even the arguments with Karoon and Balder's stupid remarks were enjoyable, and seeing my subordinates follow me gave me an incomparable sense of satisfaction.
Living in Zieghart, I was becoming human instead of the piece of blood called Number 4404. However, the more attached I became to Zieghart, the deeper my anguish became.
Because I had come to love Martha and this family as much as I loved Mother, I couldn't decide correctly what I should do.
Life as the 13th Apostle, life as Denier, life as a father, and life as Number 4404.
Born a monster and raised as such, having learned about society through human memories, I didn't know how to find the answer. While I spent time in such torment, I overheard a conversation between Raon and Glenn.
Though I had felt some jealousy for Martha, I wasn't particularly interested in Raon himself. I only occasionally gave him pitying glances to play my role as Denier.
Even when the three-way battle between the White Blood Religion and Zieghart erupted after Raon was kidnapped by Eden, I was carrying out other tasks and didn't think much of him. But when I heard his goal, I was greatly surprised. Sylvia's return to the direct lineage. Everyone in Zieghart would laugh at those words.
That was natural, as noble families made a great distinction between direct families and branch families, making it impossible to cross between them. Especially since Sylvia had left the direct lineage of her own volition and had returned, I thought it was impossible.
But Raon spoke of this impossible task, worked hard, and finally achieved accomplishments that even the members of the direct family who detested him had to acknowledge, and restored Sylvia to the direct lineage.
It was amazing. My common understanding of humans was shattered. I admired Raon's initiative to act first before thinking too much. After the day Raon became part of the direct lineage, I always observed him.
"Raon Zieghart has become part of Zieghart's direct lineage. And the information from the Shadow Agents is..."
For the first time, I gave Mother false information. It was fortunate that there were no White Blood Religion spies in the higher ranks of Zieghart; if I had had a Fury Worm inside me, I would have died long ago.
"Well done."
Mother nodded and smiled at me despite my lies. Strangely, her smile seemed unsatisfactory and empty compared to before, as if it lacked emotion.
"Ah, there's one more thing. This time in the Central Martial Palace..."
I spoke further to Mother as I revealed new information.
"I see. We'll have to withdraw our followers from there. Well done."
Mother smiled again, but that smile was also hollow. It was just a smile put on for show. Now that I think about it...
At some point, Mother had started to only repeat "well done" to me. I had never heard her say things that a real mother would say.
When I realized how empty Mother's smiles and words were, I remembered Martha's face, always greeting me with a bright smile. The contrast was so stark that it made my heart ache. After that day, I began to manipulate the information I gave Mother, being careful not to be caught.
Living two lives was incredibly difficult and painful, but seeing Martha's smile was enough to alleviate all the pain.
I developed martial arts that could erase bloody energy and repel Mother's soul, then passed them on to Martha. Though they were difficult martial arts, Martha followed them well.
"Martha."
As I ate with Martha after finishing swordsmanship training, I called her by name.
"Yes?"
Martha smiled with her eyes, with pasta sauce on her lips. It was a smile she only showed me.
"Well..."
I wanted to tell her. That I wasn't the real Denier Zieghart, but an artificial being created by the White Blood Religion Leader. But I wanted to tell her that I had considered her my true daughter.
"Forget it."
I shook my head with a slight smile. I couldn't open my mouth, imagining Martha's smile turning into anger and disgust towards me.
"You're being silly."
"I prefer bland food."
I changed the subject with meaningless words as I secretly bit my tongue.
Though I was somehow managing it for now, what should I do if Mother summoned me as the 13th Apostle? It was so painful and agonizing.
I was a coward who didn't want to see the disappointment of either Mother or Martha. In reality, I was relieved when Glenn didn't call the Wise Martial Palace, as I didn't want to participate in the war itself.
But seeing Martha scream as she brought down the blood demons made my soul tremble violently.
"Martha..."
Though Martha's expression was like a demon's, she was crying inside. It was an expression that only I, who had raised her since childhood, could recognize. Watching Martha lamenting, I finally made the decision I had been agonizing over for so long. I realized where I had to go.
Glenn Zieghart. Though he hadn't given birth to me, this man who treated me as a son sent me and the Wise Martial Palace to the battlefield with eyes full of trust, telling me to make sure I helped Martha.
I remembered what he said when I adopted Martha. Responsibility. Yes. I had to take on the responsibility as a father.
I helped Martha confront the 10th Apostle, and in the end, Martha achieved her revenge on her own.
"I want to tell you I'm sorry..."
The 10th Apostle said he was sorry as he looked at Martha and me before collapsing. It seemed he was apologizing not only to Martha but also to me, who had to live a false life.
After closing the 10th Apostle's eyes, I ran with Martha to the battlefield where Mother and the Five Kings Transcendants were fighting.
Mother was in a much more dangerous fight than I had imagined, and she even faced grave danger because of Raon. To avoid death, she said the words she had originally prepared for Glenn, words I had never wanted to hear.
"Come!"
The words to summon me as the 13th Apostle. Mother called me to kill Lecross, who was the most threatening presence here.
Whoosh! I finally shed the skin of Denier and, as the thirteenth apostle, stabbed Lecross in the chest from behind. In reality, Balder's dagger was too slow to stop my sword. My failure to kill Lecross was my own choice.
After throwing the dying Lecross to Raon, I grabbed Martha, who might have done something dangerous, and paralyzed her.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Though I couldn't properly look into my daughter's eyes full of shock and sadness, I couldn't avoid them either. I grabbed Martha's neck and retreated behind Mother.
"Return Martha!"
Raon and the Five Kings Transcendants were terribly strong. They fought against Mother and against me, who had drunk the white wine of the soul, burning not only their aura and mana but even their life force. Especially Raon Zieghart, who grew stronger as he fought using his superhuman growth rate. I had anticipated many things, but this was an exception.
Having received serious damage from Raon, I desperately stuffed blood from the ground into my mouth to forcibly regain my strength.
In the end, Mother repelled Raon and the Five Kings Transcendants, but her body seemed to have reached its limit and couldn't move. Contrary to my expectations, Mother said she would take over Martha's body right here. Everything I had prepared became useless.
"You, I will kill you!"
Martha spat out the curse she had been holding back towards me. Though my daughter's cry hurt me deeply, I had to move forward for her sake. I offered Martha, who was cursing, to Mother.
Whether it was true that Mother had achieved soul growth or not, she used only drops of blood to suppress Martha's soul and began to seep into her body.
Looking into Raon's eyes that refused to give up until the end, I solidified my determination. I turned around and plunged my sword into Mother's heart as she tried to force blood into Martha's mouth and suppress her soul. With a splash! Mother, who had been maintaining the spiritual connection, couldn't react to my sword and simply exposed her chest.
"Ah...?"
As soon as Martha opened her eyes, she widened them as she saw my sword piercing the White Blood Religion Leader's heart.
"You, you're insane..."
Mother frowned at me for the first time as she grabbed my sword that had pierced her heart.
"What are you doing!"
"Family and memories are too precious for humans. We are monsters who steal those things."
I shook my head, saying that I couldn't live like this anymore.
"Foolish! Did you think I had left you unchecked!"
As Mother's eyes gleamed, an extreme pain as if my soul were being crushed by a rock hit me.
"Kuhek!"
I coughed up black, dead blood as I gasped for air. Seeing chunks of internal organs among the blood, it seemed that I had inscribed a death curse on my soul. Honestly, I had expected it.
"What you've done now is pointless."
Mother frowned, saying that it was just a waste of time.
"No. It makes sense. I, who was born a monster..."
As I released the paralysis in Martha's body, I held her hand tightly, just as I did when she had nightmares.
"Because I can die as a human."
I smiled at Martha, not at Mother, with a smile that contained Denier's life.
"Martha. Now it's your turn."
-
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